Thursday, May 15, 2014

Book Jealousy

I don't think of myself as someone who gets jealous easily. That's definitely not one of my faults. Other people's happiness doesn't diminish my own, and naturally, I thought that would also apply to book-happiness.

Well, clearly it doesn't, if my sister is involved.

I was at the library yesterday (where I got Gone With the Wind) and my sister announces that she's going to get Dune (by Frank Herbert). I instantly protested. Now, here are a few things you should know.

1. I'm a bigger reader than my sister. She is definitely a lover of books, just not to the extent that I am. There has rarely been a book that haven't read before she did. And in one of those rare cases where she read a book before I got to it, it was a book that I wasn't particularly interested in. (The example that comes to mind is Mysterious Island by Jules Verne. My sister adores that book, and I haven't even read it.)
The book causing this sisterly contention

2. I haven't read Dune - but I really really want to.

The conversation went like this:

Sister: "I think I'm going to get Dune."
Me: "Why!?"
Sister: "Oh, I don't know. I want to read it."
Me: [Trying to formulate a logical argument in my head of why she shouldn't get it] "Uhh - but - Why don't you get something else?"
Sister: "I think I want to get Dune though."
Me: [Now, trying to figure out why the heck I don't want her to get it] "Well, I - I haven't read it yet. There are so many other books you could get!"
Sister: "No, I think I'm going to get Dune."
Me: [In mild exasperation*] "But I want to read it first! I haven't read it yet!"
Sister: "So? You don't have to read everything first. I'm going to get Dune."

That evening, I thought about why I so vehemently didn't want my sister to read Dune. I realized that I was jealous that she would read a book before I did - and of all things, a book that I wanted to read. This sort of freaked me out, because, as I said, I don't think of myself as a jealous or selfish person. But when it comes to books and the person closest to me - my sister - I become super jealous and selfish.

See, I know there are thousands of other people that have read thousands of books that I want to read. And this doesn't bug me. But because my sister is so close to me, and, though I tend to ignore it, there is a certain sense of competitiveness between us, my jealousy flared up when she DARED to read a book I wanted to.

So this post is sort of becoming therapy for me - getting over my jealousy of my sister reading Dune, and realizing that we're not competing for books. Heck, there's more than one copy of Dune at the library. But it's the idea that I don't have time to read Dune right now, and she'll finish it before I do - that makes me illogically jealous of her. I need to stop. :-)

Thanks for letting me spew all this stuff. Have any of you experienced book jealousy? Especially with someone you normally thought you wouldn't be jealous of? Tell me about it!

~Sophia

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*You can only get mildly exasperated in a library.

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